just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
