I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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