Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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