the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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