I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
