i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We have so much sex to catch up on
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
