just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
People in love make me want to vomit
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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