Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
