If that was your dad, he is hot
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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