Plan B is the new Plan A
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
