My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
