its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize