I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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