And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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