he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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