you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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