What a fucking waste of an outfit
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
