Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
