I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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