The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is