the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You need Xanax blowdarts
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again