Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
