I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
