Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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