i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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