Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
