Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
