Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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