DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
