i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
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I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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