I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
