If i come over, it means nothing
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
