i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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