Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
