I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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