I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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