what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
