Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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