her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
