Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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