More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
