I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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