I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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