I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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