your room smells of hookers.
And success
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
