Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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