HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
