I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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