Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
