I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
