I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
