If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
