So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
