She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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