she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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