i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
