oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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