very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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