Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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