Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
