Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
