just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sext me about skeletons
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
