If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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