is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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